However, I think that unemployment is the generator of the other problems, if people can't get a job, they may not pay a home, buy food or pay for other basic needs like electricity, water or gas.
Actually, I think that Spain is going through a bad time but we can overcome these problems because we have suffered another crisis but we have always moved forward. It will be difficult, but we can do it and we have to do it trying to solve problems like unemployment, famine and poverty problems, then we will be able to fix other problems like health and education.
Jordi Olives Cegarra, 2º Batxillerat A
There are only two paragraphs, when there should be 3. Don't give your opinion in the second paragraph and there should be a connector to introduce the conclusion.
ResponderEliminarNow try to correct the mistakes in red and add CORRECTED in the title. Remember to keep the mistakes in red.
I really agree with you, unemployment is the worst worrying problem in Spain. As Jordi said, people need to get a job to pay a home and buy food to live. Your essay is quite good, I like it.
ResponderEliminarNow read the essay and pay attention to the words in blue. Then erase the words in red and change the whole colour (original colour- black) and write FINAL VERSION next to the title.
ResponderEliminarI agree with you too. Due to the unemployment, several problems have arisen, problems like disposession, famine...
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